Follow This Advice to Fail Miserably in Your Marketing
In today’s world, every other person is a marketing expert.
And then there’s the AI problem.
The real issue?
Apparently, everybody is a successful marketer.
Everybody is smashing their campaigns.
(Or so it seems on LinkedIn & Twitter. I even had a Twitter conversation with a founder who thinks CEOs should take the hybrid-marketing position and handle marketing tasks to AI. Haha. We’ll see how that goes!)
So, I thought many of you must be tired of being so successful at marketing.
Maybe you’re craving some failure or disappointment.
But don’t worry, you’re in luck.
I’m here to give you some advice that would help you fail miserably in your marketing efforts.
Ready?
If this is the first time you’re reading an article by me…
Hi, I’m Rahul Choudhary and I’m the founder of Beef Up Media, where we provide full-funnel marketing strategies and marketing/conversion consultation to businesses that want to elevate their brand and dominate their market.
Don’t forget to hit the follow button for business, marketing, and self-improvement tips.
(Sometimes I can be quite sarcastic as well!)
1// Don’t do any customer research
Who’s creating anything for the customers anyway?
Who needs to know what their target audience wants or needs, right?
Just throw all caution to the wind and start blindly guessing what will work for them.
You can save yourself a lot of time and effort by not bothering with customer research.
It’s always best to enter a market blindly and hope for the best.
After all, who needs to know anything about their customers, their competition, or the market when you can just wing it?
Save yourself the trouble and just rely on your gut instinct.
Trust me, it’s the best way to ensure failure in marketing.
2// Don’t care about the audience’s intent
Who cares if they’re ready to purchase or not, right?
(Because everybody is ready to purchase everything all the time)
Just go ahead and try to sell them your product or service regardless.
Don’t waste your time trying to understand their needs or what stage of the buying process they’re in.
And don’t even think about providing value to your audience before trying to sell to them.
Why bother creating content that educates or informs them when you can just push your product or service on them right away?
3// Copy your competitors
Because originality or creativity is a sin.
Why bother coming up with your own unique messaging or branding when you can just steal someone else’s?
Don’t worry about standing out or being different from your competition.
Just copy everything they’re doing and hope for the best.
After all, if it’s working for them, it must work for you too, right?
Plus, your customers will love seeing the exact same marketing strategy from multiple companies.
They’ll never get confused or annoyed by seeing the same messaging over and over again.
It’s a win-win situation, really.
4// Don’t do anything to retain old customers
Who needs loyal customers when you can just constantly acquire new ones?
Don’t bother with loyalty programs or incentives to keep your existing customers coming back.
Just assume that they’ll stick around no matter what.
After all, you’ve already won them over once, so they’ll be a customer for life, right?
Also, don’t bother with personalized marketing or outreach.
Just assume that your existing customers will be interested in the same things as new customers.
Don’t bother with segmenting or targeting your marketing efforts to their specific needs or interests.
It’s a waste of time, and you’re already busy trying to acquire new customers anyway.
They’ll be sure to notice your lack of interest in their business and quickly move on to your competitors.
But who cares?
You’ve got a constant stream of new customers to replace them with, right?
5// Don’t care where different channels & tactics fit in
If you want to absolutely suck at marketing, don’t care where different channels and tactics fit in.
Just use them all, all the time, without any rhyme or reason.
Forget about the bridges that connect them.
Don’t bother with understanding how different channels and tactics work together to create a cohesive message.
And don’t bother with analyzing which channels or tactics are actually working for you.
Just keep using them all, all the time, and hope that something works eventually.
After all, it’s better to use every marketing channel and tactic available and have a scattered approach than to have a cohesive strategy that actually works.
Also, don’t bother with tailoring your message or approach to fit each individual channel or tactic.
Just use the same messaging across all channels and hope that it works.
Your customers won’t be confused or annoyed by seeing the same message everywhere, right?
Congratulations
By following this advice, you’re well on your way to complete marketing failure.
Done fooling yourself?
Now let’s do it the right way. ↓↓
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